That’s A Nice Handbag, Ma’am

This morning on the train, when an older woman stood in front next to me, my eyes immediately fell to her handbag. It was made by Dereon, Beyonce’s fashion label, and was constructed from fabric and patent leather with polished silvertone hardware.

I find myself doing this all the time now, and not just with handbags. Clothing, shoes, accessories of all kinds — I evaluate them all and attempt to discern the materials from which they were made and then I begin writing copy in my head.

So, Kiera’s About to Pop, Right …

It’s not unusual for expecting mothers to host a baby shower to celebrate the arrival of the newest addition to the family. And it’s not unusual for the invitations to sometimes stand out, to have a little flair. So when Miss Kiera decided to plan her celebration of the birth of Ma’khi, she went with an invitation that would truly stand out.

Let’s see your invitations top this, Beyoncé.

Music: Who Runs The World? Beyoncé, That’s Who.

Y’all like that new Beyoncé song. Y’all really do. I don’t know why y’all continue to fight it.

You see, I’ve been trying to figure out for the longest why so many people, women especially, have been voicing a displeasure with her new single “Run The World (Girls).” Most people can’t give a concrete answer as to why they feel the song isn’t all that good. Is it the beat? Well, people say they like the beat. Maybe it’s the lyrics. Well, the lyrics aren’t mind-blowing but they’re okay and delivered in a militaristic cadence that gives the song just the right amount of attitude.

So what the problem is?

I think Brooklyn’s resident Southern belle Demetria Lucas touches on why the song supposedly hasn’t immediately captured the hearts of many, as is normally the case.

[W]hat in the heck was the message? The lyrics are classic Destiny’s Child empowerment-lite in the vein of “Independent”, “Survivor” and “Single Ladies.” Ok. But what do gyrating, garter-wearing women, twerking-off (while sending a shout to college grads, no less) against a male army in the remote desert have to do with women running the world? My takeaway is that if a woman ever wants to be a conquering queen, the power of the P is her best weapon of choice. Um, what?!

Ah, so now y’all are finally tiring of the pro-faux-feminist formula that’s helped Beyoncé, combined with her Destiny’s Child projects, sell over 135 million records worldwide. Ha. Okay.

Random: Odd Future With Beyoncé and The Neptunes

If you didn’t know by now, I’m a fan of Odd Future. The upstart hip-hop crew has been making waves of late, performing on Jimmy Fallon, starring in Funny or Die videos, and appearing on the cover of Billboard. Well, it now appears that some of the industry’s power players are trying to work with the talented younguns.

In the photo above, OFWGKTA crooner Frank Ocean (whose Nostalgia, Ultra is fucking amazing) is in the studio, working with none other than Beyoncé. Below, Tyler the Creator builds with his idols Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo of The Neptunes.

Janet Looking to Whip Beyonce’s Ass

Looks like Sasha’s getting a little too fierce for her own good.

Isis Wisdom over at Word on the Streets reports that Mrs. Shawn Carter made some less than complimentary comments about the susperstar Jackson family, insinuating that they are low class, ghetto Negroes:

The former Destiny’s Child singer said in a recent interview, “I grew up upper class. Private school. My dad had a Jaguar. We’re African-American and we work together as a family, so people assume we’re like The Jacksons.

“But I didn’t have parents using me to get out of a bad situation.”

Now, baby Janet is livid and letting everyone know these remarks will not go unpunished. She’s out for Beyonce’s blood.

No, I Haven’t Been Updating My Blog Lately

What can I say? Life happens. It’s the holidays. People get busy. I know I’m busy. Are you busy?

Quick update: new gig. Yeah, the “freelance” lifestyle I was living had to end, as all good things must. A brother needed some steady income, haha! The upside is, I’m working with some cool people, the atmosphere is Lebowski laid-back, I probably work 6 hours a day, got benefits and shit, and the money is fanfuckingtastic. Best of all, I’m still able to pursue my pursuits, which suits me just fine.

As most people say around this time, changes will come with the New Year. No, for seriously. I’m not telling you what they are just yet. Wait and see. I’m sure you’ll be interested.

By the way, the picture of Jay-Z and Beyonce have nothing to do with anything. Their shared look of disgust simply makes me laugh.

Okay, so that’s it. Bye.

The Week in Cool 10.26.08

Yeah, I need to blog more. Trust, that will happen soon. But in the meantime, what did I deem worthy to post about this week?

• I was too damn lazy to cook breakfast so I became pro-Choice.
• The Morning Coffee was delicious, though.
• Zack Snyder’s latest Watchmen trailer has me convinced that it will be the movie event of 2009. T.S. Johnson has no fucking idea what she’s talking about.
• Nothing has changed. ScriptGirl is still sexy, smart, and the personification of awesome.
• Mayhaps I need to stop drinking.

Thanks to everyone who keeps coming by to check me out. And I’m surprised that “Harley Quinn” has suddenly become a major source of interest. Did I miss something? Help me out, people! Don’t forget, I’m also on the Twitter now! Tee hee!