So the other day, I was chatting with my godbrother Sam and I was telling him about my totally awful and horrible experience flying with Spirit Air. It was bad enough that the seats on the aircraft were dirty and that the wheels on the landing gear squeaked and that there were no free beverages or snacks (Team $14 Bloody Marys!). But to be forced to endure the totally awful and horrible ordeal of having to pay $20 per bag to check my luggage in only to have totally awful and horrible Spirit Air lose my fucking luggage … well, that was too much and totally awful and horrible. Sure, I got my stuff back two days later, but the totally awful and horrible situation still caused minor inconveniences. For example, I had to buy a new toothbrush, toothpaste, hair care products, and was on the verge of buying new underwear. Totally awful and horrible. But it gets worse after the jump.
In telling all of this to Sam, I explained that the only reason I went with such a totally awful and horrible bargain-basement “airline” like Spirit Air was because they had the least expensive flights for my dates. Not only that, but my dumb ass decided to fly to Fort Lauderdale (as opposed to Miami, which was my destination) because that made the ticket that much cheaper. I didn’t think about the fact that car service to Miami and back would essentially eat whatever savings I’d managed to gain thanks to booking a cheaper flight. Such a totally awful and horrible decision.
Now that I’ve come to the irrefutable conclusion that Spirit Air is totally awful and horrible, I have vowed to never ever again for the rest of my natural life on this planet Earth forsake comfort and convenience because it may save a few pennies. I’ve always known this, but the totally awful and horrible experience with Spirit Air has truly made me realize why I’ve always been willing to pay extra for things and services. I’m paying extra for convenience. I’m paying extra for clean seats. I’m paying extra for the peace of mind that comes with not hearing an aircraft’s landing gear groan under the weight and movement of the airplane. I’m paying extra for motherfucking cute flight attendants who serve complimentary beverages and snacks. I’m paying extra for you to not lose my toothbrush and Sean John briefs. I’m paying extra to avoid totally awful and horrible experiences.
This principle applies to a host of other things, too. I’m of the belief that brand name shit is the best. Call me a snob, call me a label whore, call me an unapologetic consumer. But fuck you if you really think I’m buying a box of Frosted Flakes without Tony the Tiger‘s visage on it. You keep the “store brand” in your cupboard, homie. With cost comes quality, and with quality comes peace of mind, or at least the comforting feeling that what I’ve purchased won’t disintegrate two seconds after I’ve opened the box.
I know there are some, such as Sam (I think), who may feel that my opinion is a bit foolish. If that’s the case, fine. Fly the totally awful and horrible Spirit Air just once and I’m sure you’ll sympathize with me in no time.
Oh, and to see just how much the totally awful and horrible Spirit Air cares about their customers, check out this hilarious tale of customer disservice, courtesy of the homie Alex Rudloff: http://www.alexrudloff.com/2007/08/04/do-not-fly-spirit-airlines/
Thank God my experience wasn’t as bad as his ROFL.