Ratchet: Twenty Facts About Neil Gaiman

Ratchet: Twenty Facts About Neil Gaiman

Yeah, the Chuck Norris Facts were a pretty popular meme a few years ago, and they still endure to this day. But you know who in the literary world is considered to be so dope that he’s inspired his own set of Norrisesque factoids? Why, none other than Neil Gaiman.

The sci-fi/fantasy author of landmark works such as The Sandman and American Gods is so revered within the writing community, much of what you’ll read below is actually taken as gospel! Crazy, right?

Neil Gaiman doesn’t think so. Enjoy a good laugh as you check out these twenty Neil Gaiman facts below.

  • Neil Gaiman once wrote a Nebula-winning story using only the middle row of his keyboard.
  • Harper Collins has taken out a 2.5 million dollar insurance policy on Neil Gaiman’s accent.
  • If you write 1000 words and Neil Gaiman writes 1000 words, Neil Gaiman has written more than you.
  • Neil Gaiman does not use Microsoft’s grammar-check. Microsoft uses a Gaiman-check.
  • Neil Gaiman once did the New York Times crossword puzzle in pen. In fifteen minutes. He won two Hugo awards for it.
  • Neil Gaiman is who the Ghostbusters call.
  • Most agents charge a 15% commission. Neil Gaiman’s agent pays him an extra 15% for the privilege of saying “I’m Neil Gaiman’s agent.”
  • William Shakespeare once came back from the dead to ask for Neil Gaiman’s autograph.
  • Neil Gaiman is the reason nobody teaches “I before E except after C” anymore.
  • Some writers take inspiration from the muse. The muse takes inspiration from Neil Gaiman.
  • Neil Gaiman once groped Harlan Ellison.
  • The pen is mightier than the sword; Neil Gaiman has mastered fourteen different styles of penmanship.
  • Rumor has it that a NY editor rejected Neil Gaiman’s first book. This can not be confirmed, as the editor in question was never heard from again.
  • Neil Gaiman can tweet 175 characters.
  • Neil Gaiman’s personal library includes an autographed copy of the Necronomicon.
  • Hitler actually won World War II. Then Neil Gaiman wrote an alternate-history story in which the allies won, and reality was too intimidated to argue the point.
  • Some authors write in omniscient point of view. Neil Gaiman lives it.
  • Neil Gaiman’s next novel is expected to win the Nebula, the Hugo, and the Heisman Trophy.
  • In any given week, 7 of the top 10 books on the NYT Bestseller List are by pseudonyms of Neil Gaiman.
  • Neil Gaiman has never written a deus ex machina ending. However, God once wrote a Gaiman ex machina ending.

Ah, that “Gaiman ex machina ending” is probably my favorite. Which ones did you like, or have you heard any other Neil Gaiman “facts” not listed here? If so, list them in the c-section below!

[Jim C. Hines]

One response to “Ratchet: Twenty Facts About Neil Gaiman

  1. that is just beautiful! His copy of Necronomicon is autographed, eh? lol!

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