Welp, it’s June. Which means I am once again attempting to go an entire month without having an alcoholic beverage. Sweet Baby Jesus, help me.

Many people ask why I would subject myself to such needless torture and self-abuse. The reasons are many, but here are my main three:

  • My body needs a break. I’m not a young whippersnapper running wild in the streets of Miami-Dade County any more. I’m a grown ass man trying to make a living, and be taken seriously, as a writer. I can’t do the shit I used to do and still expect above average results. So, that means cutting out the alcohol, eating properly, and getting more rest.
  • My bank account needs a break. I spent way too much fucking money on alcohol alone last month. If I’d invested just half of that money into my business, I’d be able to do some things I now must wait to do. Enough is fucking enough, man. I joke about being poor but the reality is, I’m a profligate spendthrift. I need to chill the fuck out, son.
  • I’ll have more time. As mentioned earlier, by cutting out drinking, even for just a month, I’ll have more time to do things I need to do, namely write and cook. If I’m not putting in full eight hour shifts in someone’s bar, then I can spend those eight hours writing the sequel to Gueslist. (Ha! Fooled you. That ain’t happening. The sequel, I mean.) If I’m not out in the street, drunk and hungry, I won’t be tempted to spend an average of $20 per meal every day. I’ll be in my kitchen, making everything from steak and potatoes to PB&Js, and at a fraction of the cost.

Will I miss hanging out with the barflies and miscreants I usually encounter when I’m out and about and inebriated? Of course. Last year, I attempted to assuage this by hanging out in bars but only drinking water and juice. ‘Twas a bad idea; I only lasted 19 days.

So this year I am planning on remaining fully committed to Dry Until July. No hanging out in bars. Exercising restraint if at a restaurant or a buddy’s place. I am not partaking in any alcoholic beverage until Sunday, July 1st.

To quote Tyrese’s character Roman Pearce from Fast Five: “This has just gone from Mission: Impossible to Mission In-freakin’-sanity.” Yeah, I know, that’s a pretty poor quote to use. But I know that how a lot of you are looking at this. Hell, I’m looking at it the same way. But it’s something that must be done.

Day #1, no alcohol. Lord be with me.

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